Getting a good night’s sleep is very important, and that can be especially hard when sharing the bed with a loved one. While we all like the romantic trope of two people coming together at the end of a long day, cuddling, and finding solace in each other, it is more likely than not that it is a tug of war over a blanket, the position of the AC or the few inches of bed space between the two people. These types of situations are not tenable for long and can cause a lot of problems in a relationship, and that is why many couples are opting to get a sleep divorce to save their relationship and marriage.
There are many reasons to choose not to share a bed, like different schedules, temperature preferences, sleep disorders, snoring or just wanting to starfish in bed, but it seems like we have been conditioned by society to believe that once we become a couple, let alone if we choose to marry, the most important thing that we must do to keep that connection alive is to share a bed, when that is simply not true. Given that a good night sleep helps tempers stay in check, if two people are not compatible with sleeping together may actually improve a relationship more than it harms it, giving both the patience and understanding necessary to deal with the world.
Why a sleep divorce may actually be the best thing for your relationship
Sleeping in one bed as a married couple is a fairly novel concept, as in the olden days people usually huddled up in beds for warmth in the winter and spread out to cool down in the summer, paying no mind to marital status as long as it was between families or even people of the same gender. It was not until homes began to be more nuclear and families stopped being as multi-generational that the parents of the new household were given the privacy and privilege of having a room, let alone a bed, to themselves, without any little ones around.
And even then oftentimes if they had the space they chose to do as the upper classes did and not share a bed, but to have two separate ones.
Nowadays that is not a trend that is in vogue, but it is coming back as more and more people are realizing that they cannot share a bed with their partner every night. Some of them are just getting separate mattresses and bedding while still sharing the same bed frame, reaching some kind of bed compromise that allows them to still feel connected while enforcing their own preferences when it comes to mattress firmness and warmth. Others are straight up choosing to have different beds separated by nightstands and just keep one bedroom, while a minority is just getting a separate bedroom that they are declaring their domain and choosing to only spend some nights together.
There is no one size fits all answers when it comes to sleep divorce. It does truly depend on the couple, their habits, the space they have in their room and their compatibility, but getting a good night’s sleep is now more important than ever, as we live in a world that does not allow for enough rest, and if sleeping alone helps fix some of the tiredness we seem to carry around, however it is best achieved it is the best way.
And, who knows, it might actually be the key to save your marriage, as it will allow both partners to have a more even keeled temper and better sleep hygiene which will allow them to face the world with a better disposition.