Giving children phones has been a topic of controversy ever since they were invented, but it has gotten exponentially worse since the advent of the smartphone, as it gives children and teenagers access to a whole unrestricted world of information and content that is not safe for young minds to see. And science has backed up the unhealthiness of this practice, especially as mental health issues rise amongst the younger population, small children develop more behavioral issues, child rearing becomes more hands off and the digital education of teenagers takes a nosedive.
There have been many attempts to figure out what could be considered as THE answer, the one that would be universally recognized by psychologists and society in general as the standard piece of advice that works, but the problem is a lot more complicated and is entrenched in societal norms and pressures.
If a parent acquiesces and allows their child to have a smartphone, said child will have access to the world in an unprecedented way that can lead to consequences like cyberbullying, scams, screen addiction and more. But, if they say no, they are likely to be subject to similar instances of bullying as well as social isolation for being excluded from the online world as well.
So, should children have access to a smartphone
Infuriatingly, the answer seems to be quite vague, and according to psychologist Andrea Vizcaíno Cuenca it is all about a balanced approach and will depend on the child and their level of maturity. While there might not be a “right age” for granting smartphone access, she does not believe that most children under 15 or 16 may not have their judgment developed enough to ensure their safety online and the impulse control necessary to evaluate long-term consequences related to their behavior online.
But given that most social connections have moved from the physical to the online world, if a child does not have access to a smartphone they will miss group chats, event invitations, or inside jokes shared on platforms like Instagram or TikTok, which can cause them distress and long term issues with friendships. A limited access to technology might be the best answer in this case, especially with heavy supervision.
Having clear rules and guidance is the best course of action according to the experts. These are not punishments, they are expectations and consequences established at the start of the smartphone conversation to ensure safety and a balanced approach. For example, no phone during meals or until homework is properly completed, not in the bedroom or at night, and certainly not password protected against you as the parent can be good guidelines to follow, although that last one needs to come with some allowances for privacy as a smartphone can contain someone’s whole life.
But without proper education about social media all this is useless, as the world has changed a lot since the first generation of teenagers got access to the internet and the online world has become quite a scary place. Teaching children about the most common online scams and basic internet security, as well as how algorithms and targeted advertising can manipulate attention is crucial to their safety and mental health, and it will also allow them to make better choices and understand the reasons behind some of the controls that you as a parent are choosing to retain or impose.
And lastly, but by no means least, lead by example. If you are having unhealthy relationships with technology and modeling them for your children, they will be more likely to follow in your footsteps, so try to have a balanced approach and manage your tech use before you have to manage theirs.